The idea that you were juggling chatting with both of us doesn't sit well with me. I wonder if you were "mesmerizing" her as you read my letters or were my letters chucked aside and only read when loneliness creeps up on you after you tuck her in with your sweet words? Do you know the amount of time spent on each letter? Do you feel the love pouring from each page? No. Because had you, your heart would have denied any feelings beyond purely platonic. But that wasn't good enough. You had to develop feelings for someone you barely know just cos she threw flattery your way. Wow, I feel special. I took weeks and months and all she took was a little flattery, girl-next-door crush and a cute face. BAM! It cheapens our love when yours is so easily bought.
And I'd thought you were 'different'. I guess under the skin and clothes, you're all the same make-up; it's in your DNA. Just because you don't join the band wagon of guys who'll fuck anything that breathes and wears a bra, doesn't make you a saint.
Nevertheless, I got to thank you for respecting me enough to tell me. I really appreciate that Baby; but I don't share. I didn't give my all to that ONE man in my life, spring out of bed at 6:00am in the morning just to prepare your breakfast every time you stay over, discount on my sleep just to write letters for each day of your trip (to keep your boredom at bay & in case you miss me - ha! Now I feel so dumb), take time off work to head over to your place to change your bedspread so you can come home to a clean bed after your long absence from home, JUST TO SHARE YOUR LOVE.
Why? Why couldn't you keep our love special? Why did you go and let someone into your heart, so easily?
It's Saturday, the 22nd February - I had been counting down to your coming home. Call me melodramatic, but today you broke my heart. It's today that I learnt that my love for you all these while isn't enough. And will probably never be. And this lesson I'll never forget.
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